The debut

He's here! Mr Ryder Patrick Martin decided to join us at 6:36am on Sunday, May 20th and he is just perfect! Mike and I are so smitten with our little man and still can't believe he is here.

My original due date was May 26th and we had an induction scheduled for Monday, May 28th. I was originally going to work until Friday, May 25th but I was feeling so crappy and tired and my feet and legs were so swollen that I decided to leave a week early so Friday, May 18th was my last day. On Thursday I was feeling "off", I had woken up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep so I took the day off of work and just took it easy. We had a dr. apt. that afternoon and she took one look at me and scheduled the induction for as close to our due date as possible. I was only 1cm dilated and 50% effaced and she said he really could come at any time, I was "ripe". She said my tailbone had moved and I had plenty of room to deliver vaginally. All that day I was having a lot of gas pains and my hips were just aching. Mike stayed home from work to be with me and we went out to dinner but I couldn't sit for very long so we came home. I'm thinking now that it was the beginning of labor and I just didn't know.

Friday was my last day of work and I still wasn't feeling great but went in to finish as much as I could, knowing it was my last day. My coworkers really surprised me with all their good wishes and kind words and how many people made an effort to come see me and wish me well. I ended up working until 6:30 and was exhausted when I got home. I was still having gas pains and hip pains and Mike was good at trying to make me comfortable. I took a hot bath and took the night easy. I had a little to-do list for the coming week while waited for our little guy, just some odds and ends I needed to take care of before he came but nothing urgent. One of my best friends was coming out from AZ to spend the week with me leading up to the birth so I had little things for us to do each day. I was really excited for the down time before our big arrival.

Saturday I was up super early again and still not feeling great. I went to see a friend's son's hockey game at 11:30 and went to lunch with them afterwards. After that I wandered around the mall for a few hours, picked up an outfit to come home from the hospital in and just sort of walked around - my pains weren't so bad as long as I was moving; sitting and/or laying down were really uncomfortable. I got home that evening and cuddled with Mike; we took a shower and joked about having sex to induce but ended up not doing it. My hips were really bad and the gas pains were worse so he just massaged me and helped me try to get comfortable. He left for work at 7:30 and by 8pm I realized that my "gas pains" were coming and going and feeling more like menstrual cramps. I had also started spotting and was feeling really nauseous. I wondered if I was having contractions so I gave myself an hour to see if they went away or got worse. I did my hair, ran a load of baby laundry, packed my hospital bag and Ryder's diaper bag (you know, just in case) and then realized that I was definitely having contractions. I couldn't sit or lay down, I had to stay up and moving. I called Mike at work but he didn't answer so I called my mom and said "I think I'm in labor" - it seemed so surreal to be saying those words.  I wasn't really sure but I knew something was happening so I decided to go to the hospital just to get checked out. My mom didn't want me driving so I called Mike again and he rushed home. We got to the hospital at 10pm and my contractions were every 4 minutes at that point. I knew something was going on but still wasn't sure it was labor. They brought us upstairs and the nurse checked us in. I told her I was 1cm on Thurs and she said they'd probably send us home if I still wasn't dilated. I sort of knew it and was totally prepared to head home even though my contractions were getting more and more intense. Well, she checked me and we were 4cm and she told us "you're having a baby!"

So of course there was a flurry of activity, calling parents and letting everyone know I was in labor. The contractions were getting really intense but I was still set on no drugs. The nurses looked at me like I was crazy and were trying to talk me into getting the epidural - not in a pushy way but in a "hey, it's here for you for a reason and no one will care if you get it" kind of way. I was still determined to stick it out but it was getting tougher. The dr. came and checked me around midnight and I was 7cm so he broke my water. It was such a crazy feeling and I looked and felt like I'd instantly lost half my pregnant belly. But the pain just got worse after that. Finally around 1am I couldn't take it anymore and asked for the epidural. I even started throwing up because the pain was so bad. I am SO glad I did, what a miracle drug! I was able to rest and visit with Mike's mom for a bit. I gave Mike his "daddy to be" present - a Bulova watch, and my mom her "grandma to be" present, a pandora bracelet. I even took a short little nap. At 4am I was 10cm dilated and by 4:40 we were pushing. I pushed for 2 hours, it was exhausting! It was hard to because I couldn't really feel what I was doing. My contractions had really slowed down so I couldn't push as frequently or know exactly when I was going to contract so it seemed to take forever. Mike and my mom and dad were in the room and they were so great; Mike helped me with my legs because I couldn't feel them and my parents gave lots of encouragement and helped watch for contractions. Finally around 6am the dr. came in (along with about 12 other people) and within 1/2 hour our little miracle was born. He did have to cut me but Ryder came much quicker after that. I can't even explain what it felt like to finally give birth, I couldn't feel a lot, just pressure, but there was a definite sort of "pop" feeling when he was actually born and I was so aware that he was out. I immediately burst into tears, tears of joy and relief and exhaustion.

Pretty soon everyone was crying, my mom, Mike, me, everyone but Ryder. He had a great apgar score (9.9) but he just didn't want to cry. He was very alert and very calm, he didn't even cry when he got his shot. He had swallowed some fluid so they wanted him to cry to get it up but he just didn't want to. It seemed like forever while the dr. stitched me up and the nurses got him cleaned and measured and weighed and finally put him in my arms. Mike and I were so overwhelmed, we just couldn't stop staring at our beautiful little miracle. He was so perfect - not wrinkled or smushed at all. He had a head full of blond hair and dark dark blue eyes (I think they will be brown) and just the most precious little face. He didn't look anything like I expected but he was so beautiful. It was definitely love at first sight.

We were very lucky to have awesome nurses the entire time (other than 1 that Mike really hated) and we felt like we were the only people in the whole hospital, everyone was so attentive and helpful and it seemed like everyone really fell in love with Ryder. He was such a mellow baby. Breast feeding was a challenge and I worked with the lactation specialist twice. Ryder wanted nothing to do with the left boob, only the right one and he would only eat for about 5 minutes at a time. We had to wake him up to make him eat but everyone kept assuring us he was doing great and it was normal and he'd pick it up in time. My epidural didn't wear off right away and my entire left leg was completely numb so I wasn't very mobile. I wasn't in too much pain but it was hard to move around and the most annoying thing to me was the IV in my hand, they wouldn't take it out and I could barely move that hand so holding Ryder was tough and breastfeeding was harder - I constantly needed extra hands to help. Nothing like having other people trying to smush your boob into an infants mouth. (On that note, nothing like giving birth to kill any sense of modesty. By the end I didn't even care that my dad was there seeing everything. I just wanted that kid out!)

That first day is still a bit of a blur but I vividly remember how much I loved laying in bed with my son in my arms, skin to skin. He had such a beautiful little face and such big alert eyes looking up at me. He makes the cutest little faces and noises, I was totally head over heels in love with him.

I have so much more to say, I want to remember every moment of the experience and his first few days but then this will be a very very long post. Now that we're getting the hang of having him and his schedule I'll be able to hopefully catch up more. I am just so smitten and want to remember everything - I know he won't stay little like this forever.

I still can't believe he is here...