Adorable - I have the cutest son EVER. I might be a little biased but he is seriously cute and I am totally in love with him
Breast feeding - see previous blog. Still having a hard time with this one and apparently it will suck even worse during the 6 week growth spurt but then will get better. So they say...
Circumcision - poor little guy gets his tomorrow. We didn't do it in the hospital because the pediatrician says his foreskin was too tight and we are seeing a pediatric urologist. I wish it was done already. I cry thinking about him being in pain that we purposely caused.
Daddy - Mike is seriously the best daddy ever. He is so involved and I can tell he and Ryder have a special bond already. It still brings tears to my eyes watching my love interact with our son and it is not the hormones!
Episiotomy - yup, the doctor had to cut me. For some reason I was more scared of this than any other aspect of childbirth; I was terrified of tearing or needing to be cut and even begged the doctor not to do it. But it really wasn't that bad. It wasn't pleasant but I was numb for the first few days and then mostly just sore for about 10 days. And now I'm all healed and practically good as new.
Fluids - poop, pee, puke, blood (me), we are still dealing with it all on a daily basis. Diaper changes are like little mini obstacle courses/races against the clock - gotta get him cleaned up and a new diaper on (and on securely so it doesn't leak) before he poops and/or pees again. Usually we "win" but when we lose it can get ugly! Apparently this only gets worse with boys. Fun times!
Growth spurt - I swear we are in the middle of a growth spurt. This child nurses for a half hour every hour to 90 minutes. We had been going 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings but not anymore. Plus now he spits up and is fussy at night and the boob is the only thing that settles him down.
H - my current cup size. I spent a small fortune on nursing bras (I was able to find 3 that fit) because I have to shop at Nordstrom. Ryder and Daddy both love my boobs so I guess I shouldn't complain but an H is just unnecessary if you ask me.
Innie - RPM has a perfect little innie belly button. His dad has a cute little outie which I think looks pretty sexy with his six pack, but I'm happy with how Ryder healed. My innie, on the other hand, may never be the same. It never "popped" during pregnancy, it just seemed to get wider & deeper. I used to joke that Mike could have had sex with it if he wanted. Let's hope it goes back to normal!
Judgmental - I find in some ways I am less judgmental of other parents now that I am one but in other ways I'm even more judgmental now than I was. I have very definite & strong opinions about how children should be raised. Luckily my friends are all great parents who I very much admire and respect so they are safe from my judgement.
Kung Fu Panda 2 - I've seen this move every day, or at least every other day, for the last 2 weeks. I've also seen Toy Story 3, Tangled, How to Tame Your Dragon, and the last 2 Harry Potter movies at least daily. I watch a lot of movies and TV these days since I am chained to the couch
Love - I never imagined how much I would love my son and love being a mommy or how much more I would love Mike. It overwhelms me sometimes. I've loved people before but never in that fairy tale/happy ending/country love song kind of way and it is new for me to be such an emotional and sappy person but I actually kind of like. I am so in love with the 2 men in my life!!!
Marriage - the burning question is when are we going to get married. And we are. Mike is saving for a ring; it is very important to him to do it the "right" way (which is debatable since we did just have a child) and we both want a real wedding, not a courthouse wedding, so it will be a while. But it is definitely in the works and I look forward to the day when I can say I'm married to my best friend and the love of my life.
Name change - it's official, Mike's last name is now Martin. We had the court date Tuesday. Now we can get his name put on the birth certificate (don't get me started on this... in FL they won't put the father's name on the birth certificate if you aren't married so right now it says Father: unkown which infuriates me. There is a form we have to fill out to have him added so now that the last name will match the one we gave our son we can get this taken care of)
One day at at time - this is my mantra. This is also new for me. I am a planner, I organize and plan things for a living and I'm good at it because it is my nature to be that way. I keep 3 calendars and make lists and have thins scheduled and planned weeks and months in advance. That is all out the window now. I don't even plan for the next day until today is almost over. Hell, I can barely plan meals or to take a shower! I have a really hard time with this one but we're making the best of it. I'm sure this is the topic of a future blog post
Pacifier - the debate rages on. Mike and I have fought about this since we found out we were pregnant. He is strictly against them and I think they have a purpose if used properly (not just as a mute button but during times when he is truly distressed or at night when he just wants to sleep with my boob in his mouth for hours). Mike thinks that pacifiers are evil and that by "allowing" one we are showing RPM that we are "giving in" to him. I think that is ridiculous and that a newborn has natural needs, one of which is sucking, and that he is too little to understand anything other than his needs being met. This argument causes me lots of anguish but luckily Ryder is a good baby and there have only really been 3 times where I would have even given him a pacifier, if we were using them. We are going to talk to our pediatrician about this.
Questions - I have a million questions about this mommy/baby thing, with new ones every day. I'm so grateful for my mom, my friends who are great mommies, and the internet. Our pediatrician is also wonderful but I know I can't call her 35 times a day. Too bad kids don't come with instruction manuels
Routine - try as I might, I am unable to establish a routine. Some days I think we're getting there and then the next day it all goes to shit. I guess we have a little bit of a routine - RPM is happy and awake and alert in the mornings so we play and cuddle. We also go to bed around midnight and he lets me sleep a good 3-4 hours. Then Mike gets home and plays with him until his next feedings. But the rest of the day is a crap shoot and the evenings are where it all really falls apart. Oh well, we'll get there one of these days. Until then, refer to the letter O.
Sex - I miss having sex with Mike. A lot. It has been 7 months since we've had normal sex. We had sex a dozen or so times during the pregnancy but it was always doggy style in the shower. I'm ready for some spontaneous sex, some love making, some true bonding with Mike. But we still have to wait about 3 weeks. And I'm so uncomfortable in my body right now that who knows when it will happen. Between my milky boobs and my stretch marks and that fun post-baby pouch I feel less than attractive. I worry Mike doesn't see me sexually anymore - between my pregnant body, watching our son be born, helping wrestle my boobs into his mouth to feed him, and my post-baby body, I just can't imagine him finding me attractive. He says he does so maybe it is all in my head. I guess we'll find out in a few weeks.
Tummy time - my son is super strong. He has been holding his up since birth and he is super alert and aware. During tummy time I swear he is getting ready to crawl away! He rocks forward onto his arms and his little legs are going a mile a minute. Again, I'm probably biased but I think he is really strong for his age and wouldn't be surprised if he rolled over, crawled, and walked early. He was super active in the womb and spends a lot of the day awake, moving his arms and legs so I know he'll be a super active toddler and child. Hopefully I can keep up!
Unproductive - This is a mental war I wage with myself every single day. My to-do list is a mile long and keeps growing but I get nothing done on a daily basis. The first week I could barely move from giving birth and the last two weeks I've been stuck on the couch due to my son's voracious appetite and lately him just wanting to be held. Each morning I think "I'll try to accomplish A, B, and C (or sometimes just A!) today" but inevitably I'm lucky just to get meal and bathroom breaks. A shower is a major accomplishment. I have a really really hard time with this and I had a mini breakdown a few days ago over it. But again, I refer back to letter O...
Vaccines - I wasn't sure how I felt about vaccines and considered the delayed schedule but after talking to our pediatrician we've decided to go with the recommended schedule. Living in Tampa we have a lot of immigrants and who knows what they've been exposed to. We are very close to Disney and Tampa itself is a bit of a tourist spot so we are exposed to millions of people from all over the country and the world on a regular basis and again, who knows what they've been exposed to. Not to mention I work in a building that holds 20,000 people on a nightly basis (at least 200 nights per year) and hockey attracts fans from all over the country and the world. Measles broke out just a few months ago. Better to be safe than sorry so our little guy will get all the shots, starting with his first ones next week. I don't know what upsets me more - thinking of him getting shots and being in pain or knowing he will be a month old already!
Weight loss - 10lbs to go to pre-baby weight and 15 to 20 lbs to go to goal weight. I'm excited to get back to the gym and I even signed up for a 5k in December to keep me motivated. I know my body has changed so I don't know what to expect but I'm excited to get back into a pattern of working out. Of course, we need to establish a daily routine first and I refer you back to letters O, R, and U.
Xhausted - I was pregnant for 9 months, working crazy hours the whole time (including being in labor my last 2 days of work), gave birth, and have a 3 week old baby who nurses constantly. I don't think I need to say much more about this one.
Yellow seedy poop - somehow we've become obsessed with Ryder's pooping. He's pretty good at it too. He poops about 8 times a day and you can hear it every time he does. It's quite explosive! We've gotten pretty good at recognizing the signs and it cracks us up to see his little face go all calm and then to hear that explosion. Which ever one of us changes him announces to the other the color, consistency, and amount of poop. We'll even announce when we think he is or we know he has just pooped. I never imagined caring so much about poop. I have quite the champion little pooper!
Z - GGZ, GGKate, Grandma Beth, Grandma Jane, Grandma June - This kid has more grandmas and great grandmas! He has 2 grandpas and GG Jack too. (I think it is so cute that the great grandparents have dubbed themselves the GGs). He also has tons of aunties - only one of which is an actual blood relation - scattered all over this country. Ryder is one very loved little boy
Is that him snuggling with your boob?? LOL!! :-)
ReplyDeleteMan, I could have written that word-for-word! I read in a couple of my books that you shouldn't worry about keeping a schedule until 6 weeks; until then, it's all about their needs. But, believe me, I totally understand! It was something I struggled with at first.
I totally understand the pacifier debate. The arguments you had with Mike are arguments I had with myself. My mom hates them because she views them as a "mute" button. But, yes, sucking is something newborns need to do. I'd say since you're keeper of the boobs, you get the make the decision. :-D Don't worry, though, he'll find his hand/thumb soon! :-)