The "C" word

There are actually several C words that I associate with pregnancy and lucky me, they are very prevalent in this last trimester. I guess I can say I'm lucky that they've been non-existent or at least mild until now so I probably shouldn't complain, but I feel like I have a right to gripe a little bit...

"Cankles" this is a new one for me and I. Don't. Like. It! My feet and hands have been swelling pretty badly lately and my ankles and cute little feet tend to disappear for hours at the end of the day. I then lay around with my feet propped up on 15 pillows and switch between heat and ice to bring the swelling down. If Mike is home he will massage them for me (did I mention how lucky I am that he spent some time at massage school?). He doesn't even care if they have been in my shoes all day, he rubs them anyway because he hates seeing me suffer. Best. Boyfriend. EVER. But doesn't really make up for the fact that my ankles go MIA. I don't eat fast food (those cheeseburger cravings stopped around week 15), drink soda, or put salt on anything and I drink tons and tons of water so this doesn't happen every day but when it does, oh boy!

"Constipation" this one has been around my whole life, was really bad in the 1st trimester, got better, than got worse again. I stopped taking my iron supplement and started taking a new prenatal vitamin that has a stool softener in it which seems to help a little bit. But I can still go 4 or 5 days without going and when I do, I swear the soft part was left out of softener. I'm surprised I haven't broken a pipe with my boulders. (sorry if this is TMI) I eat lots of raisin bran, prunes, and fresh fruit, stay away from rice, steak, and excessive cheese but I still have this issue and it sucks. This week was particularly bad and when I was finally able to go this morning I felt like I'd lost 30 lbs, gained back the ability to bend over (somewhat, Mr. Ryder still gets in the way) and had no more stomach pains, gas, or cramps. Yay!!! I've never been that girl to talk about anything poop related and usually go out of my way to keep Mike from even knowing that I do poop but not anymore. Nothing is sacred once you are pregnant and poor guy knows all my woes. He is so supportive and concerned and is always reminding me to eat my prunes. I swear he would massage my butt if he needed to just to help me. Did I mention how lucky I am?

"Crying". I hate crying. Crying pisses me off. And lately I do it all the time. Everything makes me cry. Sad songs. Love songs. Happy songs. Romantic movies. Movies that just have romantic scenes. Anything involving kittnes or puppies. Thinking about how awesome Mike is. Thinking about being pregnant and my little miracle. Thinking about work and how much I love my job. Watching hockey. Literally everything. I've never been romantic or particularly girlie so this is all very new to me and I don't like it all. Well, I don't mind feeling all lovey towards Mike and our son but I could do without the tears every time I hear a song I like or see a cute little animal. I think Mike actually likes seeing a soft, tender side of me but he does a good job of not laughing (too much) when I get all mad in the middle of my tears.

"Comparison" I've always been the kind of person who compares myself to others. I think it relates to that envy/jealousy thing I wrote about a few weeks ago. Some times I feel good about myself when making comparisons with others but normally I am comparing how I fall short next to someone else. Being pregnant adds a whole new meaning to comparisons. I am obsessed with how much weight other pregnant women have gained, how big their bellies are, and how I measure up to them with my size and weight gain. I have to say  that one of the hardest thing about being pregnant, for me, has been mental: wrapping my head around the fact that I am pregnant, that I'm supposed to gain weight, that my body changing is all good - and so far on track according to my doctors. I look at pictures of pregnant women and judge them based on how big they look compared to me and how close we are in our pregnancies. I know this is awful and I know I'd be devisated if others did it to me (and I'm sure there are those who do, in fact I know of 1 in particular) but I can't help it. Part of it is in my nature and part of it is not knowing what to expect with being pregnant and looking to others for clues. Not to mention when I'm smaller then someone I get that little self esteem boost that is so necessary when you weigh the most you've ever weighed in your life!

I'm sure there are some other c words that I'm forgetting (cramps and cravings come to mind) but I think I'm a little complained out for now.