Saturday, October 26, 2013

You gotta start somewhere

I think it is safe to say that every day I compose a blog in my head. They are typically on a variety of topics and of course I think they are quite witty and interesting and sometimes even profound. Yet somehow there is a gap between my head and actually sitting down to write them. Blame it on a lack of time and energy, or the fact that I truly only like writing/typing on a real keyboard and at home I only have a laptop and smart phone. Or maybe just that everything isn't as witty and interesting and profound as I think it is.

I would like to be better about keeping this blog. I wrote in a diary daily from age 9-17, kept a journal on in college and even wrote fairly regularly on my myspace page in my early-mid twenties. It is funny to me to look at the progression from totally private "for my eyes only" to semi - public where only people who know about my diary on diaryland actually read it to mostly public on myspace. (Of course, back then I had no real responsibilities and only worked 40 hours a week) Part of wanting to write is wanting others to share my thoughts and maybe even enjoy what I have to say. But part of it is still that little girl writing down her most secret wishes and dreams. I end up questioning some of what I compose in my head - do I really want to share this with the world? Is it too private? Is it too much information? Will anyone even read it or care? And then I psych myself out of sharing.

I find this argument amusing. So much of my life is already out there and public. I am on Facebook daily. I tweet. I have a LinkedIn profile. I write book reviews on Goodreads.  But I am extremely cautious about what I say and share on those sites. I carefully choose what I post while considering who will see it. I try to keep my political and religious views to myself. I don't share the majority of details about my husband and son and our lives. While part of me yearns to freely and publicly express myself a larger part of me instinctively wants to keep things close and private.

I enjoy the blogs of my friends and other more public figures that I read on a regular basis. I think, if they can do, so can I. And I quite enjoy the little Carrie Bradshaw voice in my head that narrates when I do write and I can party imagine I am someone glamorous and important who's words matter to other people.

So I add it to the list of things I want to do - learn to knit a sweater, run another 5k, floss more regularly, write more frequently. We'll see what I accomplish first...

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